How to Fight, Right!

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Squaring off against your partner or friend is never fun, but how you handle the situation can actually speak volumes about your relationship. I have a temper.  There, I said it.  After a large number of what some may categorize as “explosive” fights, I have learned how valuable communication is.  It is hard. So here are some tips I’ve learned that to help me put on my hard hat and get to work.

  1. Take the time you need to calm down in order to have a civilized conversation. Breathing room is ok – just make sure you are both agree to that.
  2. If possible, have a conversation in person – texts and even phone calls can’t take the place of physical connection.
  3. Keep a close eye on your WBT (Words, body language and tone) – HOW you say something is just as important as WHAT you say.
  4. Leave accusations at the door – the blame game doesn’t help anyone. This just puts you both on the defensive.
  5. Remember the other person has feelings on the subject too – I struggle with this a lot. When I get upset I tend to forget that other people may be equally as upset for a different reason, but it is very important to recognize.
  6. LISTEN! When you are sitting there thinking about what you are going to say next, you may miss something important that the other person is saying!
  7. Avoid words like “Always” and “Never” – when you talk in absolutes it doesn’t leave any room for change.
  8. Be aware of mine fields – Both parties may have hot buttons so tread mindfully. You don’t want to set something off that is completely off topic.
  9. Operate with full disclosure – Your partner does not know what is in your head. You have to tell them. If something hurts your feelings, speak up! Plus if you aren’t fully open about how you feel, it WILL come up again in a later fight.
  10. Keep the fight in perspective – Is this something to end a friendship or relationship over?
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It’s a Real Nail Biter!

You can call me a pathological groomer, OCD, or perfectionist but it all translates into one particular action: nail biting. I come from a long line of nail offenders (Both my Mom and Grandma were known to gnaw away) and have had the habit since before I can remember.  I have tried everything: stopping cold turkey, keeping my fingernails painted, the stuff that tastes bad when you put it in your mouth, even fake nails  – but give me an edge on one of those things and I will go to town. My manicurist loved me, but talk about a strain on the pocket book! Continue reading “It’s a Real Nail Biter!”

Depression or PMS?

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Have you ever had one of those days when all you can muster up the energy to do is get to the couch to turn on Netflix and binge watch on your favorite TV series?  That was me yesterday.  It was an all day pajama party with Oreos and my cat.  For some inexplicable reason, I could not make myself do a single productive thing.  I had an amazing weekend filled with art, friends and football.  I even made a dessert dip that looked like the Pinterest picture so I truly didn’t understand why I was so glum.

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Then it happened, I started my period.  It was three days early and (being on the pill) I wasn’t anticipating it at all.  I have felt “off” all month and chalked it up to the massive amounts of changes that are going on in my life right now.   Anyone would be stressed or depressed in the same circumstances right?  But was it depression or hormones?  Or do the two go hand in hand?

Last week when I had to go back to the eye doctor, again, he told me I had dry patches on my cornea.  The most common cause: Changes in hormones.  So I started looking even closer at what my body has been doing this past month.  I have been spotting for weeks, again being on the same birth control for years now, this is not normal.  Could this be the cause of my feelings of depression?

Women are shamed when they talk about their hormones and menstrual cycle, but why?  The fact that a woman can conceive and carry a child is incredible.  Every month a woman’s body prepares to start the stages of bringing life into this world.  Our bodies’ work for weeks then in a matter of 5-7 days everything our body has prepared for sheds and it has to start all over again.  Sorry men, but PMS is a very real thing with chemical side effects.

So, what are my next steps?  I am either going to 1. Change birth control 2. Go off birth control, and/or 3. Meet with a hormonal specialist.  This getting older thing really is a challenge.  Why was I in such a rush to grow up?

Xoxo-

Suzanne

Four-Eyed Frustration

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For well over a month now, I have been having eye issues.  It started as a double eye infection and has just continued to get worse.  I have been reduced to having to wear my glasses almost exclusively.  The other day, I could barely drive because the light was affecting me so badly.

I’ve worn glasses since the first grade and contacts since the 6th, so why am I having this issue now?  This got me to thinking… Is there a point where your body just turns against you? In the past few months I have had to add an iron supplement and Metamucil to my daily regiment on top of my daily vitamin.  This is to help with exhaustion and gastro problems.  I also have a theory that my liver needs a little boost (an accident in high school injured it and I have had health issues ever since). With that I am adding two additional supplements to the mix:

  • Turmeric – a plant that is the main spice in curry.  It’s used to treat many ailments including: stomach pain, diarrhea, stomach bloating, loss of appetite, liver problems and gallbladder disorders.It is also used for headaches, bronchitis, colds, lung infections, fibromyalgia, fever, menstrual problems, and cancer. Basically a cure-all.
  • Milk Thistle: (silymarin) – a flowering herb related to the daisy. In addition to helping with liver problems, it is also used to reduce cholesterol and is a natural anti-inflammatory and antioxidant.

Once I get my eyes back and these herbs kick in, I will be ready to conquer the world (or at least be able to drive safely).  Small steps.

xoxo,

Suzanne