How to Fight, Right!

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Squaring off against your partner or friend is never fun, but how you handle the situation can actually speak volumes about your relationship. I have a temper.  There, I said it.  After a large number of what some may categorize as “explosive” fights, I have learned how valuable communication is.  It is hard. So here are some tips I’ve learned that to help me put on my hard hat and get to work.

  1. Take the time you need to calm down in order to have a civilized conversation. Breathing room is ok – just make sure you are both agree to that.
  2. If possible, have a conversation in person – texts and even phone calls can’t take the place of physical connection.
  3. Keep a close eye on your WBT (Words, body language and tone) – HOW you say something is just as important as WHAT you say.
  4. Leave accusations at the door – the blame game doesn’t help anyone. This just puts you both on the defensive.
  5. Remember the other person has feelings on the subject too – I struggle with this a lot. When I get upset I tend to forget that other people may be equally as upset for a different reason, but it is very important to recognize.
  6. LISTEN! When you are sitting there thinking about what you are going to say next, you may miss something important that the other person is saying!
  7. Avoid words like “Always” and “Never” – when you talk in absolutes it doesn’t leave any room for change.
  8. Be aware of mine fields – Both parties may have hot buttons so tread mindfully. You don’t want to set something off that is completely off topic.
  9. Operate with full disclosure – Your partner does not know what is in your head. You have to tell them. If something hurts your feelings, speak up! Plus if you aren’t fully open about how you feel, it WILL come up again in a later fight.
  10. Keep the fight in perspective – Is this something to end a friendship or relationship over?
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Birthday On A Budget

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Growing up my birthday almost always fell over Spring Break.  So of course, I grew accustom to a week-long celebration.  Unfortunately as an adult, who is rationing vacation days, I had to come up with a plan that still gave me the same feeling only on a shortened time schedule.  I figured some sort of epic adventure would hold me over until my next vacation.  I planned to go skydiving and even purchased my voucher from LivingSocial (I’m all about a good deal), but when I called to set up my jump; they were booked!  After I stopped crying, I went back to the drawing board.

I sat down and started looking at different activities near Los Angeles that were still budget friendly Continue reading “Birthday On A Budget”

No Shopping? No Problem!

Challenge Update: I MADE IT!!! 60 days down. ZERO clothes purchased and holy guacamole, it was hard.  Throughout this process I realized that I shop mindlessly.  Walk into a store, find something, buy it, repeat.  I never stopped to take stock of what I actually need to add to my wardrobe.  The result – an average clothing collection with some cute pieces sprinkled in.  Talking to my roommate during a late night chat, I asked “Wouldn’t it be nice to open your closet and love everything in it?” The question actually stopped me in my tracks.  Who says I can’t love everything in my closet?  I buy the clothes!

This challenge has not only changed my view on how I shop, but what I shop for.  My new rule, I must LOVE it to spend my hard earned money on it.  It has also made me start to take inventory of the items I already have.  I gave myself a pass to buy a new outfit for my birthday, but as it turns out, I had a perfectly good jumpsuit in my closet that I hadn’t worn!

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After I finished the challenge, I didn’t have this urge to run out and get my fix.  Actually the opposite happened.  Continue reading “No Shopping? No Problem!”